


Coulson Lives

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [63]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Coulson Lives, Crack, Drabble, F/M, Humor, M/M, Metafiction, Other, Threesome - F/M/M, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-06
Updated: 2013-10-06
Packaged: 2017-12-28 15:05:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/993332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers watch a new TV show together. Chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coulson Lives

*Lola flies into the sunset. Tony switches off the TV*

 **Tony:**  So. I kinda hate Fury. Anybody with me?

 **Natasha:**  He did what he had to.

 **Tony:**  There were other things he could have done! Joss Whedon just loves to kill the people we love!

 **Steve:**  So, isn’t it good, then, that Coulson is actually still alive?

 **Bruce:**  Yeah, but I get the feeling there’s more to it than that. Shepherd Book said…

 **Thor:**  Who now?

 **Steve:**  Oh for god’s sake. Even I’ve seen Firefly.

 **Loki:**  Yeah. Idiot.

 **Tony:**  You haven’t seen it either, have you.

 **Loki:**  I plead the amendment that says I don’t have to answer that question. 

 **Tony:**  Whatever.

 **Steve:**  You know what bothers me? Those collector’s edition cards he got blood all over? Those were probably worth a lot of money. And Fury just ruined them for some poetic whatever. I mean, gosh! Coulson loved those-

 **Natasha:**  Are you mad because he ruined Coulson’s prized possessions, or because they were cards of you?

 **Steve:**  What? Why would I…? Of course I don’t care about…

*Steve sputters*

 **Tony:**  Mhmm. Its OK, baby. I’ll find a new set of You Cards for him, yeah?

 **Steve:**  That would be nice.

 **Tony:**  And until then, you know what’s big, green, and will make you feel better?

 **Bruce:**  Please shut up.

 **Natasha:**  Yeah. That is more than I need to know about your sex life. I don’t ever want to think about Bruce’s-

 **Tony:**  That is because you haven’t seen it. It is a work of art. A big, green—

 **Bruce:**  Quite. Could we maybe leave now? I’m feeling some rage coming on.

 **Tony:**  Yay! Hulk smash!

 **Bruce:**  Yeah. Not the good angry. The angry where I withhold sex because you are being a dick.

 **Tony:**  NOOOO!

 **Steve:**  Aw. You two are adorable with the foreplay. But could we go do the sex now?

 **Tony:**  Yup!

 **Bruce:**  Nope!

*Tony gives puppy dog eyes*

 **Bruce:**  Fine. Go. I gotta clean up here. But when I get to the suite, there better not be any pants on! And somebody should be wearing the gimp suit.

 **Tony and Steve:**  Yes sir!

*Tony and Steve leave, fighting over who gets to wear the gimp suit and being a little clumsy because they are also trying to remove their clothes.*

 **Natasha:**  Gimp suit?

 **Bruce:**  It makes Tony shut up for a little while.

 **Thor:**  A worthy goal.

 **Bruce:**  Yeah. I tried to convince him once that ball gags were good for brain function, but…

 **Natasha:**  Too bad. Well. I’m off to bed. And by bed I mean Pepper and Fury. See y’all’s later.

 **Bruce, Thor and Loki:**  Bye!

*she leaves*

 **Bruce:**  You two going to stay here?

 **Thor:**  Yes. I believe Supernatural is on next, and I want to see what the adorable little angel is doing this season.

 **Loki:**  It doesn’t start for a few more weeks. Plus. That show is horrible. The little angel dude is so annoying.

 **Thor:**  ARE YOU BESMIRCHING THE NAME OF CASTIEL?!?!?

 **Loki:**  No! Everyone loves Castiel! I hate that Gabriel person! He thinks he can just take on my name and…

 **Gabriel:**  *appearing* Dude. I was a way better Loki than you. I mean, fine, we have daddy issues. Did you have to be so angsty and genocidal about it?

 **Loki:**  Did you have to be so short? Or so…

 **Bruce:**  *to Thor, over Loki and Gabriel bickering* Have you seen Clint?

 **Thor:**  No. I believe he left partway through the episode. Something about someone owing him a blow job?

 **Bruce:**  Well, I’m sure he’s fine. I’m off.

*he leaves*

 **Gabriel:**  …and why do you have that pretentious accent anyway? You sound like a bloody…

 **Loki:**  …yes, because it makes so much sense for Loki to be hiding in some Midwestern…

 **Thor:**  BROTHERS!

*they both shut up and look at him*

 **Thor:**  Perhaps we could watch something that none of us are in?

 **Gabriel:**  OK! How about Gilmore Girls? There’s this adorable angsty kid that looks just like…

 **Loki:**  I’d rather not. As much as Dean Forester is adorable, he never takes his shirt off. So what is the point?

 **Gabriel:**  True. So what do you want to watch?

 **Loki:**  I still have not caught up on that summer one? With Peter?

 **Gabriel:**  White Collar?

 **Loki:**  No, no. The awesome werewolf Peter. Who is beautiful and powerful and full of sass.

 **Gabriel:**  Peter Hale?

 **Loki:**  Yes. I would like to have his babies.

 **Gabriel:**  Ugh. You are so stereotypical. But yeah. I’m down for Teen Wolf. Scallisaac is my jam!

 **Thor:**  I too like Teen Wolf. I must confess, I would like to lick the little flaily one everywhere. Or watch the angsty one rip off all his—

 **Gabriel:**  Sterek. You mean Sterek. And don’t worry, there’s a support group. It’s called tumblr.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope! Or, apparently, any fandom.


End file.
